She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
