I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
