Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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