this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
