I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
