Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
