Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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