i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
