Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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