even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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