Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
This is not my ceiling
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
