She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize