I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
