I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
