I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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