What did we do last night that was yellow?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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