i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
