When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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