I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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