Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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