super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
