let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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