the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize