News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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