FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
