i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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