OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
