i don't like sucking hair
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
