Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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