he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
