Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
NoShamevember. You game?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
