So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
