Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
