i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize