I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
