Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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