Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
