Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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