I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
