Christians are straight up FREAKS
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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