I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
