oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize