even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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