I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
