just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
