I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
