is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
