I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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