sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Two words: nipple clamps
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