Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
