For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
