I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
