What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
