Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize