I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
