Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
