The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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