oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Buhtt sex?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
