I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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