Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Sext me about skeletons
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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