$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
