i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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