If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I didn't notice because vodka
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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