Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
